Ah ah ah!
I was recently (about a month ago… Heh.) told to come up with answers to this question: “What are the qualities you look for in guys?” Well, that person certainly didn’t know that asking me to think about what I like equates to lining up clones of my enemy in front of me and asking me which I would stab first. Hence, I decided that the easiest way to approach this question would be to think of the qualities I would NEVER look for in a guy and come up with the opposite of them. Genius.
Having been called a tomboy (yes, I only own one dress other than the prom one) for the past few years of my teenhood, it is no wonder that I have quite a substantial number of male acquaintances compared to many of my female friends. After several harrowing experiences (as friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend, thank goodness) dealing with some of these guys, I can openly announce that I don’t want any of these qualities in my man.
- Being overly-emotional – This is a major turn-off. I used to have this guy friend who’s so emotional, I had to pick my words with the utmost caution when speaking to him because I didn’t want to see a news article about someone I know jumping off a building. It didn’t help that he fell for me and I had to play the bad guy and reject him.
- Extreme pessimism – It is quite queer that I, as a naturally pessimistic girl would not want the same kind of guy. However, this can be easily justified. My goal in life is to achieve happiness (an irony, but hey, I’m weird) and being around someone who doesn’t believe that there are rainbows (I do believe in them) is so going to get me a prescription of drugs to keep me from slashing my wrist.
- Wanting me to change the way I am – “You must talk more.”; “You mustn’t be this quiet.”; “You shouldn’t join the band, that’s such a loser thing to do.”; “You should do this, you shouldn’t do that.” This just shows how much he doesn’t like who I am and he wants to manipulate me until I turn into his ideal girl. Uh uh, I’m no dog of yours. Man, why isn’t Bruno Mars married?
- Not liking changes I’ve made – People do change. Ironically, it is the same guy who wants me to change certain aspects of my character and yet doesn’t like how I had changed myself in other ways. By the way, I really think I look better without my glasses.
- Talking too much about games (DotA, Dragon Nest, etc.) when I’m the only girl around – As much as I’m not interested in many girly stuff, I’m not interested in many guy stuff too. It’s totally fine if he talks about games with the guys, but if I start to feel left out for more than an hour (that’s a long time to feel like an outcast), bye.
- Not letting me live my own life – I am an independent girl and I want him to respect that. I love close friendships, be it with guys or girls, but if he wants me to be with him 24/7, I’d rather sleep in a pile of dung.
- Being sexist – “Girls don’t drive sports cars!” or “Go make me a sandwich!” is going to earn punches from me. The first I’ve actually had a guy say to me. 10 years later, if you see a Ferrari, don’t ask who’s driving it. The second is so common on the Internet. You would DEFINITELY want to eat my home-cooked ‘food’. Smiles.
- Wanting to know every single microscopic detail about me – Especially my whereabouts at any point of time. Or what I was doing when I was ‘Away’ on MSN. For all he knows, I might just be trying to avoid talking to him. Anyway, is 17 too young for a restraining order?
- Not treating me like a girl – Ah well, being called a tomboy means I’m a girl who behaves like boy. Ultimately, there’s still a girl part of me who likes shopping for clothes at the female section though guys clothes are really cool. I’m always perplexed when guys dismiss stuff with “But you’re a tomboy!” I don’t think myself as one. You never know how my heart melts when a guy refers to me as a girl/lady/woman.
- Not willing to let me go – To me, letting go is the greatest love of all. Greater than that promise to protect. Letting go shows a deep respect for me and the decisions I make. It also shows me how much love he has for me, so much so that he’s willing to let me explore and find myself. Instead of saying “Oh my god, you shouldn’t go. It’s just too risky and you won’t benefit.”, try wishing me all the best and letting me find my own way. While waiting for me to come back, maybe sing me this song. I’ll run straight into his arms and love him for the rest of my life. Provided he doesn’t possess any of the other qualities above.
See, guys, the key is not to be perfect. You just have to give girls some space, don’t hold them back, let them be who they want to be, let them discover who they want to be. Don’t ever make them uncomfortable. Nobody likes feeling uncomfortable. Duh. Having the need to see each other all the time is not love. It’s insecurity.
‘Nuff said! I’DBETTERSTUDYFORMYFINALS!!!
One more thing. All images (except the burnt food one, I was serious) are not owned by me. I have no commercial intentions. (Oh man, someone teach me how to write a proper disclaimer!)