I was happy today.
It is a momentous occasion because I hardly ever feel pure joy or bliss at any point of time. Today, I made the customary trek back to my dorm from school. There was a slight breeze blowing. It didn’t do much to relieve the stifling heat, but it did cause a shower of leaves. I had the radio in my earpiece, playing an extremely catchy anthem. My mood soared upon hearing the song. I smiled and bobbed along, oblivious to the sprinkling of people walking past me. I pretended it was autumn for once, with the trees around me raining down the leaves they have no use of anymore. I turned the evergreens orange. I had transported myself into a new world where I was comfortable and happy.
I felt good. Rejuvenated even. It’s as if I didn’t lose sleep last night, writing my essay. I was so carried away that I shared a link about something interesting to a whatsapp group in which I usually participate as an audience. Nobody replied, as usual, but it didn’t bother me until later.
I’ve been thinking about this whole social anxiety thing and how it’s making me sick. As in literally sick. I’ve been having abdominal cramps on and off for the past few weeks, which one doctor attributed to a parasite infection, causing a huge scare among my roommate and I. After I’d completed the course of antibiotics, but it didn’t get better, I went to the clinic again. This one thinks it’s a physical manifestation of the psychological. In Sherlock à la Cumberbatch style, he began asking questions, occasionally pausing to rest his chin on his thumbs, hands together, forefinger pointing upwards. “You must be angry at someone,” he deduced.
Which is nowhere near right, but I’ll leave this till next time.